CHAPTER 12 “MomDroid”
Monday 29 August 2811
One day followed the next with the six of us in classrooms and online sessions and studying. I had additional training that the other five had long ago completed. ISTRI was trying to make me into an astronaut. I had to attend sessions of the briefing-that-would-not-die, be subjected to a high g centrifuge [barf city], zero g experiences [ditto], and water tank work. My buddies were already well experienced with these sadistic tortures
The zero g experiences were almost but not quite fun; barfing made the difference. The FSA flew a specially equipped 20-passenger helicopter to our base and left it here a week for my zero g training. The passenger area in the copter was gutted except for a couple of seats and padding. The routine was devilishly simple: ascend to 14 kilometers altitude and put the copter into free-fall. It was a bit more involved otherwise the copter would slow to some terminal velocity in a few seconds. This helicopter from hell was modified with jet engines and a redesigned aerodynamic shape to keep it at zero g just long enough for me to barf. Then up we’d go again and repeat over and over while my instructor, Gladys Severin, gave me various tasks to perform between retching.
I discovered after the second day of this torture that I stayed green as long as I stayed awake – right through afternoon classes and dinner. However, all I needed was an hour’s nap and I woke up feeling thankfully normal. For the rest of the week, I arranged – through begging on my knees, almost – to have 90 minutes free for a nap immediately after staggering out of that barf bucket copter.
The water tank work was deceptively difficult. For my first introduction to the water tank, ISTRI employees put me into a space suit, buckled a tool belt and a lead weight belt around my waist, and lowered me into the tank; a deep pool of crystal-clear water. The suit was stiff, and the inside of the helmet rubbed painfully on my chin. Within a minute or so, the temperature in the suit got so warm that sweat kept rolling into my eyes. ¿Have you ever tried to wipe your eyes in a space suit? Can’t be done.
I was supposed to find a loose bolt on a contraption sitting on the pool bottom and tighten it. I think they expected that I would foolishly spin around while trying to tighten the bolt – simple opposite and equal reaction – but I wasn’t fooled. When I located the loose bolt, I unclipped the wrench from my tool belt, fit it to the bolt head, wrapped my right leg around part of the contraption and twisted the bolt tight. No spinning or flailing.
A red light flashed inside my helmet signaling a leak and my untimely demise, had I been in space. The attendants quickly fished me out of the tank before my torn suit completely filled with water – and sweat. The instructor had deviously put several sharp edges on the contraption, and they tore the right leg of my space suit when I braced myself. Lesson: protect your suit.
Most of the classroom sessions familiarized us with every facet of the starship’s systems: water, fuel, carbon dioxide recycling, electrical power, air filtration, cooling, heating, hydroponics, lighting, radiation shielding, micro-meteor shielding, navigation, firefighting, radio communications, medical analytics, robo-surgery, FECS drives, waste retrieval and recycling, light sail, photovoltaics, minifactory operation, food preparation, zygote freezers, … the list continues. We are not only expected to be thoroughly familiar with every weld and wire, but also to be experts at repairing anything and everything. We practiced welding, soldering, riveting, machining, electroplating, sputter plating, annealing, smelting, forging, and gluing. We had 11 different glues to choose from for each repair.
Equal effort went into understanding and repairing ourselves. We spent several days at the Entebbe General Hospital working on patients: reducing fractures, debriding wounds, suturing, implanting zygotes for V-babies, giving exams, interpreting medical test data, and delivering babies; all under close supervision by our Medical Director, Dr. Chikyū, and the wonderful doctors and nurses at the hospital. In addition, a surgical robot joined us one morning and we six had to get its bulk from the truck to the O.R. and set it up. Then we stood by and assisted while it performed a cholecystectomy. The robot is programmed and equipped for just about every imaginable surgical procedure, from sawing off the top of the skull to reattaching a severed limb with the hundreds of vessel, muscle, and nerve reconnections required.
We practiced darning, knitting, sewing, and weaving. We pounded out dents. We reassembled and glued shattered ceramics. We pored over thousands of pages of schematics. We practiced locating where failures occurred on the starship simulator and reviewed how to safely – all things being relative – access and repair the problems. We were even given buggy software to fix. Then our loving diabolical instructors created massive simultaneous failures that sometimes required sealing off an area where a mother and child happened to be and condemning them to an early recycling. Yuck!
I was sitting in our oh-eight-hundred class as Dr. Monika Grundig described yet more intricacies of the multiple recycling systems, when José Guzmán entered. “Good morning Dr. Grundig. Good morning crew. I’m sorry to interrupt but I wanted to tell the crew in person and I’m leaving for meetings in Genève in a few minutes. Arrangements are complete for the six of you to take the space elevator to GEO Station departing Wednesday and visit your future home, the starship.”
Danika squealed. Xingxing shouted, “Yes!” Hvezda quietly said, “Good. About time.” Captain Perry and Sitara quietly nodded approval. I was the only one who did not move. All I could think about was more barfing.
José, smiling like a mother hen with his brood, waited until we settled down. “You will find an itinerary and a list of things to pack in an email we sent you. Briefly though, you will be wearing street clothes. You will be back Earthside Tuesday next. There will be no EVAs. Got to run. If you have questions, I’m certain Captain Perry will be able to answer them. Have a safe journey.”
And then he was out the door.
Silence reigned for 0.005 seconds before I and the other two junior members pelted Captain Perry with questions.
“¿What are parties like in zero g?” [No noticeable difference except some dance moves don’t work in zero g.]
“¿Are there any tricks to using the toilets?” [Read the directions every time. You do not want to miss a step.]
“¿Are we going to be barraged by a bunch of GEO Station guys wanting to help us … uh … experience zero g?” [You wish.]
“¿What is the food like?” [It’s very light.]
“¿What is there to do there?” [Same as here. Gab sessions, videos, looking out the windows wishing you were somewhere else.]
Dr. Grundig interrupted, “We’ve a lot of material to cover so let’s get back to it.”
The rest of my day was thankfully free of extra training. No drowning in the water tank. No barfing in the copter or in the centrifuge.
Tuesday 30 August 2811
Xingxing, Danika, and I sat together in the dining room at lunchtime trying to recover from our space navigation class with Dr. Johnson. Danika was totally absorbed in playing her guitar. Without any amplification, it was a pleasant backdrop to conversation.
Xingxing asked me, “Have you heard from Caleb recently.”
“Almost every day. He’s been telling people that he met me at the zoo and we like write to each other.”
Danika looked up from her guitar and asked, “¿And he’s not like bragging about your night of romance?”
“No. He’s not like that, I’m pretty sure. But he’s back with his girlfriend, Nooshan, who had been visiting her family over the summer.”
“What!” cried Xingxing, “¿He’s sleeping with someone else now? No way. ¿And you let him do that to you?”
“Xingxing, breathe deep. It’s not like we ever said we were going to keep a candle lit for each other. Early on, I even hoped I’d never hear from him again; so the emails are special enough.”
“So she says,” Danika muttered.
“OK, OK, OK.” In a mock theatrical voice, I continued, “Caleb can’t stand life without me, has lost twenty kilos, tried to hang himself but the shoelace broke, and now he’s at the base gate after borrowing the airfare from Nooshan.”
“Esty,” said Xingxing, “I’m just saying that maybe you’re fooling yourself about taking his girlfriend so lightly. You’re no marble sculpture. You’ve got feelings. His …”
“Excuse me,” I interrupted. “My e-pad.”
I put the e-pad to my ear, “Estrella here.”
“Estrella, this is Tommy at the base gatehouse. ¿Were you expecting a Caleb Stokowski?”
“No! I mean yes! I mean … ¿For REAL?”
“Uh huh,” Tommy answered. “He said it would be a surprise. Anyway, come over to sign him into the base. An iris scan, you know.”
“Thank tou, Yommy… I mean thank you, Tommy. I’ll be right there.”
“¿You were talking to Tommy?” squealed Danika. “¿Tommy at the gate? ¿Like you said?! Caleb is here?!”
I nodded.
Xingxing, ever the organizer, exclaimed, “There’s a four-seat street pod outside. Let’s go.”
I whisked my bag off the table as I stood. “Not you guys. I’m going alone.”
Danika stood quickly and said as she started to fold up her guitar, “We are at least going to program the pod for you. In your condition you’d have it twirling en pointe.”
The pod pulled into one of the dozens of empty spaces near the gatehouse. By the time it announced our destination I was running full tilt. I plowed into Caleb with arms wide, but he easily absorbed the blow. He seemed taller than I remembered. He hoisted me up and we kissed hungrily.
As our lips parted, he spun me around and said, “Estrella! Fancy meeting you here.”
“Not that way, Caleb. You’re supposed to twirl en pointe! That’s what Danika said to do. Actually that was what the pod was supposed to do. Damn! You’re here! You didn’t even ask. ¿What if Tommy had to turn you away?”
Tommy. Right. I turned my head and there he was, a silly grin decorating his rough-textured face.
“¿I take it you two have met before?”
Caleb put me down and we completed the forms and the eye scans and then we were in the pod. Tommy waved a friendly, “Bye now.”
While the pod drove through the base, we caught up on missed kisses; something I had never done before in a traveling street pod. As we reached the base’s center, I looked ahead and spied Danika and Xingxing watching our pod approach; but the dining hall wasn’t our destination. I waved as the pod motored on by.
“That’s Danika and Xingxing. I’ve told you about them.”
Caleb managed to untangle an arm and give them a wave through the back window. He turned back to me, took a breath, and confessed. “Your mother and Captain Perry helped me plan this trip. Celeste gave me the link for getting a ticket on the ferry from Entebbe to your island here. She also made certain I jumped through all the right hoops to get clearance to come onto the base.”
My mouth dropped open. “No way! ¿Really?”
Caleb nodded, held my face in both hands and said nothing as his eyes seemed to scan every square centimeter. The next kiss lasted until I pulled away and asked, “¿Did Nooshan also help?” He looked at me blankly. “¿I mean did you borrow the airfare from her?”
Caleb asked, “¿Who told you that?”
“A little bird told me. ¿She did, didn’t she?”
“Well, a lot of it anyway. Her family is pretty wealthy.”
“Aha! I thought she might,” I said.
“¿You did?”
“Well think of it from her point of view. You and I had not quite a day together and, like the romantic that you are, over time you’ll imagine me to be like some perfect partner. She knows she can’t compete with that; in your eyes she’ll like pale in comparison. On the other hand, spend a week with me – arguments, farts, mosquito bites, and all – and she’ll have an easier time over the coming decades. She’s no fool.”
The street pod announced, “Ramirez residence. Luggage in boot. Watch your step. Uneven pavement.”
Caleb retrieved a single athletic bag from the storage area of the pod, and I led the way; half running down the stone steps holding his free hand.
Throwing the door open, I called out, “Mom, you rascal. Caleb is here.” There was no response. I dropped Caleb’s hand, scanned the living room, and walked into the kitchen. There on the counter was a note in mom’s clear handwriting:
Estrella,
Catherine and I are shopping at the PX and she’s invited me to dinner at her place.
If Caleb arrives [surprise!] apologize for me since we do not have a guest room for him. I hope the two of you don’t mind sharing your bedroom.
Love,
Mom
Fortunately, one of the kitchen chairs was positioned just right; I plopped down and stared into the kitchen wallpaper. Caleb stepped into the kitchen. “¿What’s wrong?” He picked up the note and read it.
Slowly and with conviction, I told Caleb, “My mom’s been abducted by space aliens! That’s the only explanation!” I raised my eyes to his and burst out laughing. Not in a million years would I expect mom to be complicit in my shacking up. Does not compute! “¿Was this … arrangement something the three of you discussed?”
“Not at all. This is a complete surprise.”
“Come here.” I left the chair, grabbed his hand, and pulled him into the living room. “Look as this view. ¿Isn’t it beautiful here?”
We stood side by side; his left arm against the back of my head, across my shoulders and left hand enveloping my arm. I wrapped my right arm part way around his waist and felt the warmth of his body. Silently we watched fishing boats kilometers out from Bulolombe; some moving, some stationary. We watched as white clouds and dark clouds scudded low with their attendant shadows on the blue lake. Caleb’s pleasing and familiar odor brought back memories of the night we spent together; something I expected never to reprise. Feeling very aroused, I settled down on the rug and he joined me.
I woke to mom’s repeated calls, “I’m home. I’m home.” It was dark. Caleb and I had fallen asleep in my bed.
I shouted, “Hi, mom.” It startled Caleb so badly he nearly fell out of bed.
He turned and exclaimed in a panicked whisper, “My clothes are still in the living room; on the rug. Your mom’s going to …”
I put my hand over his mouth to get him to stop fretting. “Sweetie. It’s OK. ¿Remember? Mom expects you to … for us to … uh … to share my bed.”
After a few moments of thinking about how awkward it felt with mom just outside the door and the two of us lying naked together in bed, I repeated my earlier comic suspicion. “That can’t be my real mom, Caleb. Space aliens replaced her with one of their own kind, or with an android. Stay here. I’ll get your clothes but first I need to find my blaster.”
I intoned, “Light, level 6,” rolled out of bed, and dug through my bottom dresser drawer until I found it; a squirt gun. Lester gave squirt guns to everyone at his pool party back in Ohio a couple of months ago and I brought mine with us to Bulolombe. I pulled a robe out of the closet, put my arms into the sleeves and intentionally fell back onto Caleb in bed. After a few quick kisses and fondling, I extracted myself from Caleb’s arms, stood, straightened and tied the robe, and picked the ‘blaster’ up off the floor where I’d dropped it. “Stay here, I’ll get your clothes, and if the alien tries anything funny, I’ve got the blaster.”
I opened my bedroom door as quietly as possible and tip-toed into the bathroom to fill the squirt gun. With the blaster recharged and set to ‘melt’ I walked across the living room toward the lighted kitchen. “Hi mom. I figured out something,” I called out loudly.
Mom appeared in the kitchen doorway. “Hi honey. ¿What did you figure out?”
I pointed the blaster at her. “That you are not my mom. My real mom would never suggest I share my bedroom with a man. You are a shape-shifting alien or an android. Stay where you are while I contact security or else ….”
At that moment she hit me in the face with a glass-full of icy water that appeared from nowhere. I shrieked and before I realized, she pried the blaster out of my hand and pointed it at me, saying, “Nobody messes with MomDroid and gets away with it.”
I furiously waved both hands next to my face and screamed a fake scream. Caleb came charging out of the bedroom wearing the bedspread. We both took a look at him and cracked up. It was too silly.
As soon as I could manage to control my voice, I told Caleb, “Come over here. I want to introduce you to MomDroid.”
“¿Wearing a blanket?” Caleb asked.
“No,” I corrected. “Wearing a bedspread.”
Before long, I was out of the soaked robe and into dry clothes. Caleb collected his clothes from the floor, got dressed in my room, and we all gathered in the kitchen as mom heated some leftover spinach lasagna.